Our story

Well, what if you could chew your vitamins, and make them taste awesome at the same time?

It’ll be just like feeding your dog peanut butter with meds, only you’ll willingly be doing it to yourself, cause God knows that body needs a little rootin’ tootin’, if you catch my drift.

Bernie: he’s a one bean show. Doesn’t work well with others, and has some unorthodox working methods.
As long as you don’t bother him on his 7 weekly days off, he won’t have a problem with you.

Hugh, our brother in insert Abrahamic religious figure here, is a bit of an unpredictable fellow.
One day he’s cleaning out his room with his toothbrush, the next he’s summoning Asmodeus the Impaler™ from a spontaneous netherworld portal.
Ahh, Hugh…

Meg: Meg’s cool.
Your existence means very little, if anything, to her. But she’s cool.

Your brand of non-performative jelly beans.

When was the last time you had a vitamin you actually wanted to take? (Don’t lie.)
They’re often a chore, and even the flavored ones usually taste like oxidized armpit sweat.

Why are we better, you ask, dear reader?
Well, the hard outer shell of our jelly beans keeps the vitamins from turning into melted goop, and helps the jelly bean maintain a flavor and consistency unlike any other, making you actually crave vitamins for once in your life.

Oh, and, ummm… nutrients.

Safe to eat. Throwing can lead to head injury.

We believe that everybody should be entitled to enjoy our vitamins (because that’s also how we make money), so we made them accessible to everyone with a pulse. (Please don’t try resurrecting anyone from the dead though, we stopped selling those beans years ago.)

Here’s the boring stuff our lawyers are making us tell you:

• Vegetarian and gluten free
• Non GMO, with no artificial colors
• Free from the top allergens, with no nuts, peanuts, eggs, dairy, soy, or shellfish

We use only natural colors from ingredients like black carrot, turmeric, and hibiscus.

So yeah, ummm… fun for the whole family or something.